Waiting to put on a Talis until one is Married

Last week we began our discussion on Minhagei Yekkie. As we mentioned last week, the two most common minhangim are wearing a talis from bar mitzva (and not waiting till your wedding) and washing your hands before kiddush. If you missed out on last weeks shiur you can always catch up here http://thehalachaboy.blogspot.com/ . This week let us discuss the other minhag.

 

If one were to sit down and think about it for a moment, the Yekkie's seem to be correct. When a child turns the age of majority (boy 13 and girl 12) we all know that they are now required to perform all positive mitzvos and avoid all averios. So what right do we have to push of wearing a talis till marriage?

 

First off let us realize that wearing a tallis, or tzitzis for that matter, is only a requirement if you are already wearing a four cornered garment. ( I wish I knew this back in high school). However, since we like to recieve presents and rewards, we put on four cornered garments with tzitzis. In fact in many yeshivos they put up signs alerting the -people where and when you can perform various mitzvos (scheita- ritual slaughter, shiluach ha'ken- shewing away a mother bird before taking her eggs, etc). So by not wearing a talis we aren't doing an avera; we just are passing up infinite reward.

 

But why do we want to pass up easy presents?

 

There are at least four explanations for our custom not to wear a talis until married and they are listed, in order of plausibility, below:

1. The Maharil (14th century) in his sefer on Minhagim quotes the custom not to wear a talis until married and he bases it of the connection of the pasukim between getting married and wearing tzittis (see Parshas Ki Seitzei 22: 13-14). We know everything in the torah is written in a specific order to teach us something, so when Hashem decided to put the requirement/ option (its an arguement for another time) to get married next to the mitzva of tzitzis, it was to teach us that one should only wear a tallis once he is married.

2. The Mishna Brurah in the Bear Haitiv quotes a source based on the Gemara in Kiddushin 29b: which says that Rav Huna refused to talk to Rav Hamenuna because Rav Hamenuna was not married and wasn't Pores Sudar (literally: wrapped with a cloth/tallis). While Rashi learns this gemara to mean that Rav Hamenuna did wear a talllis he just didn't cover his head with it, apparently according to the Bear Haitiv others learn that Rav Hamenuna didn't wrap himself with a tallis at all because he wasn't married.

3. The Knesses Hagadol writes that perhaps people were so poor in Eastern Europe that they couldn't afford a tallis for the children when they became Bar Mitzvas, and there was a takana (jewish decree) that in order not to financially stress anyone, all children would not wear tallism until they got married.

4. Finally, the Knesess Hagadol writes that perhaps it used to be that children would get married at 13, and thus people began to associate wearing a tallis as a requirement once married and not due to Bar Mitzva. Thus, once the marriageable age increased people continued to follow this wrong belief and it became a minhag.

 

Either way, the minhag has been established that most Ashkenazic men do not wear a tallis until they are married, and thus even though the textual support is a bit lacking, Minhag Yisroel Torah- Minhag's even if wrong should be followed and become Halacha. Much like the gemara in Bava Metzia (59b- and one of the best stories in Shas) about Rav Eliezer and the Tanor Shel Achnei. Rav Eleizer and the Rabbis argued about the halachic status of a certain type of oven. And while the heaven's decreed that Rav Eliezer was right, since the rule if we follow the majority, they decided to follow to the Rabbis. (for a further discussion on this story and its implications I found this interesting site http://sagoboulevard.blogsome.com/2005/11/10/lo-bashamayim-hi/ ) So too by tallis, even though it seems one should wear a tallis once he becomes a Bar Mitzva, the minhag, for good or for bad, is against that and that is what we must follow.