Stealing from one's Parents

As this week is Parshas Yisro, and we lain the Ten Commandments, I figured it would only be appropriate to discuss one of Rav Moshe's Teshuvas dealing with them. I decided on commandment numero cinco. honoring your parents. As an important side point: the halachos and rules in regards to honoring your parents are pretty simple, yet for some reason people don't seem to keep them. Further, if you ask anyone why don't they stand for their parents, or why do they sit in their parents chairs they often reply with the Gemara that says "a parent who wants to mochel (forgo) their honor, may". To which I often reply, Did you ever hear them say that? Further, Rav Ovadia Yosef writes even if a parent is mochel, still a child should continue to honor their parents. By honoring your parents, it instills in you a minute respect of how to serve and honor Hashem. The story (CM 1 question 88) goes as follows: a Ba'al Teshuva came to Rav Moshe and said "I want to be a frum a jew." He goes on to list all his "questionable" behaviors" he had done as a child and teen and asked Rav Moshe "which actions do I need teshuva for and what is the teshuva I should do?" In regards to stealing from his parents, Rav Moshe said he must pay them back or at least make sure they verbally forgive him for stealing. This fellow also apparently took his lunch money from his parents and spent it on things other than lunch. Does this require teshuva? Rav Moshe responds that since his parents never verbally declared the money must be used for lunch, it was just assumed, technically that isn't stealing. The basis of this ruling is a gemara in Bava Mitzia 78 in which there is an argument whether doing something against the wishes/intent of your master is stealing. Rav Moshe says we paskin (rule) it is not stealing and thus he does not need to repay his parents. However, that is only to fulfill his requirement not to steal, but in regards to honoring his parents since he clearly did not show respect to them, by obviously going against their wishes , he must ask forgiveness from his parents. When reading this we should all be struck with how careful we must be in honoring our parents. How often do we take our parents and the items they lovingly give us for granted? We must all make a concerted effort to work on this lax area. Too often, we see young children who have no respect for authority and discipline. It is our responsibility to make sure we don't have the same weakness. There are tremendous seforim and books that explain this topic. Pick one up at your local bookstore, or borrow from a friend. Let us all begin to appreciate and respect the greatest gift Hashem gave us: loving parents.

Cramped Trains and touching the Opposite Sex

I had the tremendous z'chus this week to be on New York City Subway train during rush hour and let me tell if you ever wondered what peanut butter feels like when you smear him on bread and then spread jelly all over him, take a subway ride during rush hour. Like sardines in a can, trash in a compacter, jews in the bais hamikdash (pick your mashel) the train was absolutely packed. So packed, i would venture to guess if one more person tried to squeeze on: a. someone would pass out b. the train would explode c. mashiach would come d. all of the above. Now this seemingly mundane experience got me to thinking how are frum Jews allowed to ride on cramped trains. It is guaranteed someone of the opposite sex will be smushed up next to you and touch you albeit unintentionally. Isn't that a violation of the Shomer Negiah? Rav Moshe tackles this issue in his Igros Moshe and answers that the prohibition of touching the opposite sex only applies if it is done bderech taivah- loosely translated as with affection. However, just to rub up against a shnasty illegal immigrant with cooties would be allowed. Rav Moshe adds two stipulations though. First, if you know you will be attracted or excited from the touch it is of course assur. I was once told, a good way to check is by asking yourself : is touching this person something I would do if God didn't exist. Second, Rav Moshe states in a different response that shaking hands with a coworker of the opposite sex is a sign of camaraderie and social exchange and thus a sign of affection (you wouldn't shake hands with the sardines I was squished with). Although, there are those that do allow shaking hands with business cohorts, one should realize that doing such is certainly not ideal and should try to not initiate and as Rav Willig of YU has said "work on your dead fish or bone crusher" handshake. However, the most interesting part about Rav Moshe's response is that he spends three pages explaining and expounding on this issue, however, in his final sentence he says one is allowed to start an early minyan on yuntiff and need not worry people will come to this minyan and go to work afterwards. What this has to do with anything, I have no idea. I can assume that whoever asked Rav Moshe the subway question at the same time asked him the early yuntiff minyan question. But if someone can connect these two issues- I will send you a HALACHA GENIUS T-shirt. Please email TheHalachaBoy@gmail.com (copy and paste it into the To: box), no response is too outrageous.

Requirement to Have a Jewish Name

After a scary couple of weeks of slavery, in this week's parsha the evil Pharaoh finally lets us go free. The Medrash (Vayikra Raba 32:5) asks the obvious question; we all know the Jews were on the 49th level of tumah (there are only 50- so do them math and we were pretty bad), so in what merit did the Jews deserve to go free? The Medrash answers "Because of four things the Jews merited to leave Egypt: 1. They didn't change their names. 2. They didn't change their language. 3. They didn't speak Loshon Hara. 4. They weren't steeped in immorality." (People also say one of the reasons was because they didn't change their clothing, but I couldn't find the source for that one- if you do know the source please email Thehalachaboy@gmail.com and share with him your depth and breadth of torah knowledge) It is the first of these four I would like to focus on today. It would seem from this Medrash that giving a child a non-jewish name is a very serious sin. However, I have many friends who have non-jewish names and a few friends that are having children and naming them non-jewish names- so what is the leniency? To clarify, what we are discussing is the name given to you at your bris/ girl-name giving ceremony. Having an 'english' name which you aren't called up to the torah/ sign on a kesubah with, in the eyes of halacha is just a nickname and is no real halachic problem. Hashkafically I know many people (mostly girls) who transformed into their hebrew names around the age of 18 but it was not for a halachic reason, but more of a spiritual, priority refocus, social reason. JOKE ALERT:(In fact one girl I knew when she got married was so anti-feminist she changed her first name also) Yet, there are many people who don't have a real Hebrew name. Most of these people have yiddush names (lazer, hersh, raizel, blima, faigy, gittel, Michael finkelstein etc) - which while they sound frum, seem to pose this halachic problem. Rav Moshe (Orech Chaim Section 5, Question 10) deals with this question and answers with a novel approach. He posits that having a jewish name isn't one of the 613 mitzvos- so why is it the Jews got reward for not changing their name? He answers that before har sinai- and the giving of the torah- Jews looked a lot and acted a lot like non-jews. There was no requirement to keep shabbas, wear a kippah, cover your hair, etc. Most Jews didn't even do bris milah in Egypt, either. So anything Jews did to differentiate themselves from the non-jews while in exile was viewed by Hashem as a self-sacrifice and commitment to Judaism, and that is why Hashem redeemed them. However, nowadays when we have 613 ways to differentiate ourselves, there is no requirement to name a child with a Jewish name. Further Rav Moshe adds, JOKE ALERT this only applies by Jewish names that have been accepted by the Jewish community, but to name a child a non-jewish name (Deshawn, Xavier, Latisha, HeHateMe) while not forbidden is still disgusting. A "jewish" name does not have to be from the torah, but it needs to be a name that has been accepted and used by Jews. Many of the great rabbis, in fact, had "non-jewish" names. From Rav Laibel Eiger, Rav Akiva Eiger's grandson, to the Rambam's father Maimon to the great sages in the gemara Rav Pappa and Rav Zvi, just to name of a few. Nowadays a great abundance of Yiddish names have taken on the status of 'jewish' names one and hence one is permitted to name a child with them.

Carrying a Hatzaloh Beeper on Shabbas

Totally unrelated to anything....How odd is it that even non-frum jews go to shul on rosh hashana, when frum non-jews go parting on new years? Last week we spoke about one of Rav Moshe Feinstein's responsa relating to medical issues. Thank god, the HalachaDoctor (aka Hashem and his trusty sidekick Mr. Tylenol) have nursed the Halachaboy back to health, but I figured once we are on the topic I might as well take the ball...and let it drop (was going to say "and run with it" but then I wouldn't be able to say no pun intended). If you don't like the choice of topic please email me, but from the lack of emails I have been receiving I am assuming everyone loves what I write about and is speechless- so why not continue. I will put the source of each Rav Moshe we do in parenthesis for those who wish to look at it in more in depth. It is my hope that these questions not only enlighten your eyes in halacha but allow you into the mind, wisdom and intellect of one of the biggest Gedoli Torah. Can a Hatzala Member wear his beeper on Shabbos in a city without an eruv? (Orech Chaim, Chelek 4, Question 81) We know one can't carry in a city without an eruv except the clothes he is wearing. The gemara in Shabbos (63a) quotes an argument whether one can walk with a sword on Shabbos. Do we view the sword as jewelry, in which case it would be allowed. Or is a sword a disgusting item because it won't be needed in the times of mashiach. We paskin you can not carry a sword because it is a disgust. This idea touches on the famous argument of Abaye and Shmuel. Abaya says that the times of mashiach will be a utopia, no fighting anywhere in the world. Shmuel says mashiach's times will look exactly like now-a-days but the Jews will be on top. The Rishonim learn that even according to Shmuel who says there will be wars; jews won't need weapons, for Hashem will miraculously fight the battles for them. Rav Moshe, in his brilliancy, explains why did the Rabbis say you can't carry a sword- it is not because it won't be used in the times of mashiach, rather because it is a sign of your sins. The reason there won't be swords and murders is because the Jews won't be sinning. We know Hashem punishes only those that did wrong, and this fellow must have sinned and is worried he will get killed- why else carry a sword?? However, if the item you are carrying is helping and saving others, even if it won't be used in the times of mashiach (Because in the times of mashiach everyone will be healthy and there will be no need for doctors- maybe not the best profession to go into) it is not a disgust to carry it now a days, rather it is the prettiest, most beautiful jewelery you could wear. Next time your wife's birthday comes around—maybe a walkie-talki is really the thing she deserves. Fluffy Haskafa Application : We have mentioned that everyone agrees in the times of mashiach Jews will need no weapons for there will either be no war or Hashem will fight for us. Let us take this concept of life in the times of mashiach to heart and infuse it into our tefillos especially in the bracha of Es Tzemach Dovid (where we pray for the coming of mashiach). The world is a crazy world, Jews are dying way too often- it doesn't have to be this way- we CAN change it.